Bright Copper Kettles and Warm Woollen Mittens
11.07.09 (7:45 pm) [edit]
I don't date much, for a variety of reasons. I have a very small circle of friends and a very large family, and am for the most part quite satisfied with my social life as it is, thankyou. Last night I went on a date (for want of a better word) with an ex-boyfriend who periodically tries to resurrect our relationship. The date went about as well as it could where one person is committed to getting together and the other is equally committed to remaining apart, but we parted as friends and I hope the issue is now finally resolved. I live in hope.
The date did remind me of one of my favourite things (I know what you're thinking, and it's not that). I have already blogged on some of my favourites, but they are an ever changing assortment. Here are my current list-toppers.
The sensation of being driven safely in the dark.
My date last night is a big chap (6'4" tall), and so for as long as I've known him he has driven big cars which tend to be powerful. He drives quickly but safely and some of my favourite memories of our time together is the times he has driven me home late at night. Never have I felt as relaxed in a car as I was then.
Last night was slightly awkward initially. On the way to the restaurant we were skirting around a conversation we could both see coming, so we avoided chat as we sang along to the radio (incidentally, something else I still love is how secure Mark is - how many men would be happy singing their heart out to Dolly Parton?). Coming home was completely different. We had cleared the air, and we had both relaxed. Mark's current car is an old Jaguar, and driving up the motorway at 1am with no other traffic around I relaxed into his presence and felt cocooned, warm and safe.
In case you are thinking I'm a car snob, Mark is a great driver but a spectacularly poor passenger and has driven me home in a wide variety of cars, including my own little Peugeot. It seems the driver is the thing, rather than the car. I had forgotten how nice the sensation was, being so unconcerned at the road and the driver that I could just enjoy the intimacy of the two of us completely cushioned from the rest of the world. I'll miss him.
Decisive friends
I don’t know if this is just a female thing, but making arrangements to meet my friends is sometimes like pulling teeth. The conversation goes something like this:
"What day shall we meet?"
"What day is best for you? I'll fit round you."
"OK, how about Wednesday?"
"Oh sorry, can't do Wednesday this week. Any other day?"
"How about Monday?"
"Can't, I've got a work thing on Monday night."
Why not just tell me what days you are free then? After we finally establish a day and time, comes where to go, with a similar round of "oh, I'm happy to go anywhere" and "you choose". Why is it so hard to ask for what you want?
I do have one friend who is totally decisive. Arranging to meet tends to be more "do you fancy going for tapas on Thursday night?". Not to say that you can't change - when I had a sudden urge to go for sushi a couple of weeks ago I changed the plans at the last minute, but that's the beauty of talking to someone so decisive. Where normally I would fear that I was imposing my will to the detriment of my friends I knew that I couldn't do that here - if this friend didn't want sushi there was no way in hell she would just go along with it. Such a joy to know that when someone says they don't mind, they really and truly don't.
I am trying to incorporate this into my life, as I am uncomfortably aware that I can be of the "oh, whatever you want to do I'm happy" type. Good times.
Vampire Bill off True Blood
Since I'm too tight to pay for Sky I have completely missed True Blood until a couple of weeks ago, when series one started on terrestrial TV. I read the first two books a few years ago, and was delighted when I remembered them.
I'm not normally a fan of vampires, either in fiction or film. Interview with the Vampire left me cold, and Bram Stoker's Dracula made me giggle. Buffy, Angel and Twilight somehow passed me by, and had it not been for my memory of the books (which I probably wouldn't have chosen but a friend lent them to me) this series would probably have passed by also. I enjoy the series, I love the fact that they are allowing a full series for one book rather than speeding it up and risking the nuances. This week I couldn't wait to see what happened next so I bought the DVD box set and spent ten hours watching episode after episode back to back.
Normally when I discuss TV with my friends we all like radically different things, but True Blood is one of the few things we all agree on. I couldn't understand why that would be until we started talking (as girls do) about Stephen Moyer, who plays Vampire Bill. Yes, he seemed to be the main draw, but even then - we have such differing tastes normally, how could one character possible grab us all?
The trick seems to be that every stereotype of romantic heroism is wrapped up in one character. Attractive male lead? Oh yes. Old fashioned southern courtesy mixed with modern sensibilities? Well, he's a civil war veteran who can text and understand Sookie's need for independence, so I'm going to say that's a big yes. There is the danger of his vampirism, but the attraction of the bad boy trying to reform. While he can't help his nature, he is trying to overcome it, even if that means he ends up lonely and vulnerable. A maverick, playing by his own rules? Hello! Plus, it doesn't hurt that he has a glower that could put Mr Darcy to shame. Did I mention how attractive he is? Yes, I can safely declare I am more taken with Bill Compton than I have been with any character for a couple of years now. Plus, since any imaginary dates would be at night and he doesn't drink alcohol, we'd have the drive there and home to look forward to. Is it any wonder I go on so few dates? How is a real man to compete with that?
The date did remind me of one of my favourite things (I know what you're thinking, and it's not that). I have already blogged on some of my favourites, but they are an ever changing assortment. Here are my current list-toppers.
The sensation of being driven safely in the dark.
My date last night is a big chap (6'4" tall), and so for as long as I've known him he has driven big cars which tend to be powerful. He drives quickly but safely and some of my favourite memories of our time together is the times he has driven me home late at night. Never have I felt as relaxed in a car as I was then.
Last night was slightly awkward initially. On the way to the restaurant we were skirting around a conversation we could both see coming, so we avoided chat as we sang along to the radio (incidentally, something else I still love is how secure Mark is - how many men would be happy singing their heart out to Dolly Parton?). Coming home was completely different. We had cleared the air, and we had both relaxed. Mark's current car is an old Jaguar, and driving up the motorway at 1am with no other traffic around I relaxed into his presence and felt cocooned, warm and safe.
In case you are thinking I'm a car snob, Mark is a great driver but a spectacularly poor passenger and has driven me home in a wide variety of cars, including my own little Peugeot. It seems the driver is the thing, rather than the car. I had forgotten how nice the sensation was, being so unconcerned at the road and the driver that I could just enjoy the intimacy of the two of us completely cushioned from the rest of the world. I'll miss him.
Decisive friends
I don’t know if this is just a female thing, but making arrangements to meet my friends is sometimes like pulling teeth. The conversation goes something like this:
"What day shall we meet?"
"What day is best for you? I'll fit round you."
"OK, how about Wednesday?"
"Oh sorry, can't do Wednesday this week. Any other day?"
"How about Monday?"
"Can't, I've got a work thing on Monday night."
Why not just tell me what days you are free then? After we finally establish a day and time, comes where to go, with a similar round of "oh, I'm happy to go anywhere" and "you choose". Why is it so hard to ask for what you want?
I do have one friend who is totally decisive. Arranging to meet tends to be more "do you fancy going for tapas on Thursday night?". Not to say that you can't change - when I had a sudden urge to go for sushi a couple of weeks ago I changed the plans at the last minute, but that's the beauty of talking to someone so decisive. Where normally I would fear that I was imposing my will to the detriment of my friends I knew that I couldn't do that here - if this friend didn't want sushi there was no way in hell she would just go along with it. Such a joy to know that when someone says they don't mind, they really and truly don't.
I am trying to incorporate this into my life, as I am uncomfortably aware that I can be of the "oh, whatever you want to do I'm happy" type. Good times.
Vampire Bill off True Blood
Since I'm too tight to pay for Sky I have completely missed True Blood until a couple of weeks ago, when series one started on terrestrial TV. I read the first two books a few years ago, and was delighted when I remembered them.
I'm not normally a fan of vampires, either in fiction or film. Interview with the Vampire left me cold, and Bram Stoker's Dracula made me giggle. Buffy, Angel and Twilight somehow passed me by, and had it not been for my memory of the books (which I probably wouldn't have chosen but a friend lent them to me) this series would probably have passed by also. I enjoy the series, I love the fact that they are allowing a full series for one book rather than speeding it up and risking the nuances. This week I couldn't wait to see what happened next so I bought the DVD box set and spent ten hours watching episode after episode back to back.
Normally when I discuss TV with my friends we all like radically different things, but True Blood is one of the few things we all agree on. I couldn't understand why that would be until we started talking (as girls do) about Stephen Moyer, who plays Vampire Bill. Yes, he seemed to be the main draw, but even then - we have such differing tastes normally, how could one character possible grab us all?
The trick seems to be that every stereotype of romantic heroism is wrapped up in one character. Attractive male lead? Oh yes. Old fashioned southern courtesy mixed with modern sensibilities? Well, he's a civil war veteran who can text and understand Sookie's need for independence, so I'm going to say that's a big yes. There is the danger of his vampirism, but the attraction of the bad boy trying to reform. While he can't help his nature, he is trying to overcome it, even if that means he ends up lonely and vulnerable. A maverick, playing by his own rules? Hello! Plus, it doesn't hurt that he has a glower that could put Mr Darcy to shame. Did I mention how attractive he is? Yes, I can safely declare I am more taken with Bill Compton than I have been with any character for a couple of years now. Plus, since any imaginary dates would be at night and he doesn't drink alcohol, we'd have the drive there and home to look forward to. Is it any wonder I go on so few dates? How is a real man to compete with that?